How to Hide Anything

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As governments become more oppressive, the less they care about your private property. Tyrants get off on sending their minions to invade your home and give the place a good toss, just to show you who’s boss. Preparing for raids, although not exactly a topic for polite dinner table conversation, is a necessary prerequisite that any resistance must take.



You can stash just about everything pretty much anywhere. Electrical outlets, shower curtain rods, and even books are some examples of hides for small items. A more elaborate example would be to partially disassemble the upholstery in your furniture and then reassemble it. Visual tricks can be used to disguise the entrances to entire secret rooms designed to house personnel, which would also be particularly useful in running an underground railroad. Bathroom mirrors in some motel rooms can be easily removed and slim items hidden in the space between the mirror and the wall.

Regardless of whether you are dealing with private or public criminals, you can mislead them by setting the stage ahead of time by playing on the human tendency to recognize patterns. Through manipulating their cognitive expectations of what they expect to find, it is possible to defeat both burglars and police “no-knock” searches. Deliberately confusing the focus of the raid by being as helpful as possible in all the wrong areas for them to search can obviously work in your favor (that is, unless they’re pointing a sub-machine gun at your head and ordering you to not move).

Michael Connor’s How to Hide Anything is a treasure trove of methods for how to conceal that which you would prefer not be stolen from you. While I would love to go into more detail, I must admit that “not all truths need to be said,” especially considering that a lot of these techniques only work if they’re not blabbed about publicly. As a final note, what I will say is that some of the more eclectic hides do require power tools and a work space (preferably a machine shop) that provides adequate privacy.

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