Patriot Rockstar Characteristics

Due to the copious references and many questions I’ve received about who, and more importantly, what the Patriot Rockstars are, I decided to list the characteristics common to this breed of animal. As a natural product of the Carnival of Distractions, they manage the Carousel of Carnivores by setting the agenda on whatever the news cycle happens to be this week. As such, they also function as gatekeepers (akin to a political party’s majority or minority whip) who maintain talking point discipline by either ignoring or marginalizing anyone who dare challenge their authenticity, as I do.



Patriot Rockstars usually tend to want to:

  • Look cool whining, bitching, and moaning about political and socio-economic problems.
  • Bicker with each other incessantly.
  • Never have to correct their own highly inconsistent rhetoric.
  • Participate in activities that either don’t work, or are (in fact) counter-productive.
  • Rant all day.
  • Constantly engage in baseless conjecture, rumor, and speculation.
  • Avoid self-evaluation of their own efforts.
  • Pretend that are somehow uniquely important.
  • Disagree with each other as to who is really “behind everything.”
  • Give their best Reactive Ralphie impression as frequently as they can.
  • Reform the beast that is the State.
  • Spout meaningless propaganda slogans.
  • Make-believe that they are “revolutionaries” who are “resisting” despotic tyrants, despite the fact that they are in reality psuedo-revolutionaries who whine about what privileges are being rescinded at the moment.
  • Construct a phony belief system that inculcates an artificial market demand for goods that are then oh-so-kindly provided for sale by the patriots-for-profit (which, more often than not, also tend to be the very same people).
  • Abuse the very notion of culture jamming.
  • Mock the journalistic integrity of the alternative media as not being sensationalistic enough.
  • Ridicule anyone and everyone who does not strictly adhere to their own doctrinal tenants.
  • Enjoy the limelight of the video camera.
  • Discredit those they deem as heretics by labeling them “a government agent” without any proof whatsoever.
  • Act as demagogues while simultaneously criticizing Establishment frontmen, such as whomever is currently the Tyrant-in-Chief.
  • Possess the loudest microphone possible.
  • Care more about their website hits, podcast downloads, and video views than with whether the cause of Liberty is being advanced or not in a pragmatically measurable way.
  • Inject themselves with their daily dose of Establishment propaganda, since they are news junkies.
  • Confuse their audiences as to what civil disobedience is and how it should be practiced, so they can entice naive activists to lower the likelihood of success and increase the probability of capture.
  • Eschew self-defensive violence, which includes monkey-wrenching, vigilantism, and security team operations.
  • Just whine, bitch, and moan about problems without having the impetus to troubleshoot potential solutions.
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